So Many Things Left Unsaid

There is much on my mind. So many topics to talk about, so many things to say but lately my blog outlines and drafts are piling up on the shelf.

Perhaps I have my first case of writer’s blog. Maybe I’m just too busy to finish and publish. Maybe I’m caught up in the intense tone of the nation when it comes to Freedom of Expression.

I’m not sure of the reason and I’m not big on making excuses so I thought I’d share with you some of the ideas and topics I’ve been tossing around for the last 6 months but haven’t finalized in an article, speech or blog.

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I’ll let you decide what you think is important, relevant or interesting.

Please send me your comments and feedback on one or more of the following topics:

  1. Letting Go – I learned a new word today while in Yoga class. It is Vairagya…
  2. REI’s Force of Nature marketing campaign.
    • Do we need a retail company to “help make outside the largest level playing field on earth”?
  3. Life is Spiritual Warfare. Words of wisdom from Tariji Henson.
  4. You have a seat at the table- Now what? Speaking with confidence and humility to land your message and make an impact.

Sadly, the communication climate in the United States has taken an extremely negative turn since the election of Donald Trump in Nov 2016. Many people do not feel safe or comfortable with sharing their thoughts and opinions outside of their circle of like-minded “friends” and those that are voicing their ideas and concerns are doing so with such anger and intensity that the point of the message is not being received by those who need to hear it.

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Is this the reason why I’m not carrying through with my ideas on my WordPress blog ?

Is Fear stopping me?

I don’t know but I’m afraid to ask.

What do you think?

Should some things be left unsaid?

Soulful Servings 

Getting healthy dose of quality communication with others and can do wonders for your soul. But how often do we get a full and balanced serving of it?

Taking a vacation with a long time friend is fun and rejuvenating, especially when you can connect with the child-like spirit you once possessed.  This year’s getaway was to the west coast of Florida and I was thrilled to have a three day road trip with my dear friend Andrea.

Our time together was just what the doctor ordered and our interaction time was extended, genuine and authentic.  We told stories, shared dreams and lamented the woes of the world.  We were together and connecting without the use of an electronic device, just like we did in the 1980s when we met.

I had full, balanced and delicious meals of communication that left me happy and satisfied. I can’t tell you how much I have missed live expression, eye contact and nuance in my connections with others. All the things we are lacking in our frenzied life of online interaction with what’s called the “Snackification” of communication, I got to enjoy and experience it in the flesh.

Since it is the Lent season, Andrea and I have decided to give up Angst. Relaxing and restoring a sense of balance were our main objectives and I think we have met our goals.

There are many different forms of communication in today’s online world: written (texts, emails, letters), verbal (phone, FaceTime) and social media (posts, blogs and tweets). To me, nothing beats good old fashioned face to face sharing.

As I reflect on these last few days I can’t help but feel blessed and thankful for being able to spend quality time with good friends and family.  This is what a full and balanced life is all about and I was so happy consume and savor my Soulful Serving!

 

Objective Evaluations in a Polarized World

A vast amount of ink has been devoted to analyzing and evaluating Hillary Clinton’s speaking style. I will not be adding to the heap of hypothesis and judgment (although I do feel that I have some relevant qualifications and experience to do so) and will instead take a different angle and discuss another important topic of late, namely the ability to provide effective evaluations of speeches or debates when you disagree with or dislike the content or topic. Giving credit where credit is due is a rare occurrence these days.

During my 22 years as an active Toastmaster member, I have given over 200 formal speech evaluations and presented numerous educational sessions on how to provide encouraging yet constructive feedback on another’s presentation. I have created and shared an easy way (I call it the DSI Model) to structure a cogent 2-3 minute Toastmaster Evaluation. For you acronym buffs, DSI stands for Delivery, Structure and Impact.

The Speech Evaluation is a cornerstone of the Toastmasters program and is critical for the growth and development of the members’ communication and leadership skills.  It is also one of the most difficult things to do well.  Providing verbal feedback in front of the entire group is challenging and often a scary proposition for new club members who are asked to evaluate fellow speakers who may be more advanced and experienced.

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The ability to give objective and neutral feedback on another person’s speech is hard enough without all the many external and internal factors influencing us.  Pesky things like human nature, emotions, personal biases, insecurities, political correctness, extreme political views, polarization of opinions and what I call the “siloed, echo chambers” of social media and cyberspace  (for more on this check out “A Matter of Perspective”).

So now to the crux of the matter at hand, are we humans capable of lifting our personal filters and actively listening to the words and opinions of others with whom we disagree or dislike? Can we set aside our own beliefs, thoughts and values on the content/topic and focus on the Delivery, Structure and Impact of the speech? Without some guidelines and a controlled, unemotional approach, this may prove challenging for many people today, especially since large portions of the American public rarely see or listen to opinions which differ dramatically from their own.  Open, honest discussion and debate is too often discouraged and sadly suppressed on college campuses today.

Here are my thoughts and advice on this feedback challenge:

  1. Remember that as a speech evaluator, you are there to observe and provide neutral and constructive feedback, recommendations and suggestions on the basic tenants and techniques of effective communication and public speaking.  There are manuals and speech objectives to guide you.
  2. Focus on the Delivery and Structure of the presentation with specific examples.
  3. When commenting on the Impact of a speech (especially if you disagree with the content), try to set aside your personal emotions and biases and look at and assess the overall audience response to the speech.
  4. Honestly ask yourself if the topic/point of the speech is clouding your ability to provide positive and objective feedback on the Delivery and Impact. If it is, then:
    1. Try to put yourself in the shoes of someone who supports the topic and reflect on how they would respond to the speech.
    2. Run a “What if” scenario in your mind by replacing the content of the speech with something that you agree with and see how you would view and analyze it.
  5. Open your mind, take off your biased filters and focus on how the speaker is connecting, delivering and making their point.
  6. Was the speaker able to motivate, educate, influence or inspire?
  7. The purpose of your evaluation is to encourage and help club member improve and develop strong communication skills, not to impose your views, values and opinions about the subject matter.

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Hopefully this advice will prove useful to my fellow Toastmasters around the world and may even help open up the dialogue among Americans who are embroiled in the highly contentious and negatively charged Presidential election season of 2016.

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I will be presenting the contents of this article in the form of an eight minute Toastmasters speech on the morning of November 8, 2016.  As part of the presentation, I will be giving a sample Evaluation of Hillary Clinton’s most recent debate performance.

This speech will be the last one I give at the Denver Techmasters club in Lone Tree, CO prior to our move to Austin, TX.

 

Letting The World Know

A good Public Relations (PR) team shares and communicates the value of their organization to the outside world in a compelling way with impactful and inspirational stories and images.

The heart and soul of  Toastmasters International’s mission is to provide and foster a supportive environment where members can find their voice and share their stories.

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As I clarified in my mind the message I want to share with the world about Toastmasters, I wrote this short poem.

 “How lives are changed

How barriers are overcome

How bridges are built

How connections are made

How fear is tamed

How dreams are realized

How goals are reached

How friends are made

How community is strengthened.

At Toastmasters, I am letting the world know,

How Leaders are Made.”

This year marks my 20-year anniversary at Toastmasters and I am honored and excited to be the Public Relations Officer (PRO) for District 26.

Please share with me your stories about ways in which being a member of Toastmasters has benefited you and others you know in Toastmasters.  Reach me at Pro1415@d26leaders.org .